Most day's I wonder intently what life would of been like with out my babies. MY babies. I love them both so much that I can not even think of a word that explains my love for them. If someone looked into my heart then that is the only reason that you can tell.
They are my family and living without them is like living in a empty cave in the middle of the desert - hard and unbarably lonely.
I don't mind admitting that I am lonely. As I am very much so. I have always had a need to love and be loved, I would buy presents and little cards just to express how much a person meant to me. Lately I have hardly had any one to do that to. When I was ay school I had a best friend who I would do so to, also a mum and my babies. I have none now. My mum doesnt want me and my babies are with God together, and my friend... I'm not sure.
I have a lust for life, I grow plants and vegetables as I love the feeling of bringing life into the world and giving them the chance.
I had Pru when I was ill last June, she was a Persian as needed a lot of care and attension and I wanted to give her that care and attension. I wanted to protect her from the world and spend all my time with her, making sure that the sun would always shine for her. She had a older brother who took imaculate care of her and loved her to pieces. She would follow him around and sleep in his arms, eat once he had finished. She looked up to him.
I know that then they were the only reasons that I wanted to carry on living, when Harry died, it felt that it was the right time, that he had compleated him work on earth, he had looked after both Pru and myself.
Pru died the other week and for a moment my heart stopped. 'how was I meant to carry on?' 'what have I got to live for'. Yet from her death a new door has opened. I met a wonderful person on that day that I didnt know excited in what seemed at the time to be a wicked world. I have only been so thankful on two other occassions for what has come out of a bad situation. This being the third. She is a blessing from God. She has made my loss so much more easier to cope with.
3 comments:
You are a blessing from God to me too, Milly and I'm so honoured to be your friend.
I'm not embarrassed to admit that I often get lonely too - I think a lot of people do, only they don't like to admit it. If ever you want company or just feel like a change of scenery, you must pop over and see us: Kitty already loves her 'big sister'. You will always have a welcome here.
It is incredibly hard to lose a precious pet. When we lost Mackerel, we both cried for most of a weekend. The house felt wrong without her charging around and making mischief. But life does go on and time does heal. You never forget your precious pet, but it does stop hurting quite so much in time.
Hi Milly,
My name's Mandy - friend of Suzies. You'll find me posting on her site.
It seems like we are all "cat people". My precious Paddy got run over a few months back now. Can't tell you how I felt. I thought my world had come to an end - really. I wondered how I could live without her I loved her so much. I used to worry about her constantly when she was out, she seemed so fragile and I was so thankful when she was in the house.
As the weeks went by though, the hurt and the gaping hole she left did heal. I miss her terrible still and would give almost anything to have her back curled up in bed with me and yet, I know that she is safe now and happy in heaven. I trust God to look after her and I don't have to worry about her anymore.
I will never forget her. She was such a blessing to our family.
As for being lonely, we all are sometimes. But don't be. I know you will know about Runway, but there are lots of other youth groups that you could get involved with that have really good young people attending. I'm sure Suzie and Andy will fill you in on things like Re:Generation and our Friday youth club.
I loved your poem by the way.
Post a Comment