Speaking on msn to my friends from St Doms who the majority have also gone to differnt places, a variety of colleges around the area. I don't have any contact with them apart from msn and facebook which is a bit sad but I am determined for us all to meet up and go out for tea.
I was asking them all about college and how they were finding it and have they made friends with people. One of my friends who is attending Stafford college told me that she loved it. She had made so many new friends from college, and is always going out with them. She had already fallen out with people and got more friends from it.
My best friend also is loving it, made a lot of friends, been to house partys... (I went to one but didnt enjoy)
So what is going wrong with me? I have made a few friends, only one special friend which is really nice. Everyone else egnors me. I spend each break and lunch with the same people which is nice, these two boys with ginger hair really funny. We play chess all the time, we are like the rejects in a way. They don't seem to mind at all. But I do. Is it because I don't dress correctly and don't ware makeup so people think I am ugly and so don't bother to talk to me. I know that I don't have a boring personality and so if they only gave me chance they would see that I am beutiful on the inside. The outside appearence does not matter, they all seem to think so though.
I miss my friends who accepted me for who I was. Why can't others do so?
I was asking them all about college and how they were finding it and have they made friends with people. One of my friends who is attending Stafford college told me that she loved it. She had made so many new friends from college, and is always going out with them. She had already fallen out with people and got more friends from it.
My best friend also is loving it, made a lot of friends, been to house partys... (I went to one but didnt enjoy)
So what is going wrong with me? I have made a few friends, only one special friend which is really nice. Everyone else egnors me. I spend each break and lunch with the same people which is nice, these two boys with ginger hair really funny. We play chess all the time, we are like the rejects in a way. They don't seem to mind at all. But I do. Is it because I don't dress correctly and don't ware makeup so people think I am ugly and so don't bother to talk to me. I know that I don't have a boring personality and so if they only gave me chance they would see that I am beutiful on the inside. The outside appearence does not matter, they all seem to think so though.
I miss my friends who accepted me for who I was. Why can't others do so?
5 comments:
I know it's easy for me to say, Em, but don't worry what people may or may not think about you. As you say, you know you are a beautiful person; it's their loss if they can't be bothered to take the time to find that out.
It's not about how many friends you have either. I've only ever had one special friend and I think that's just as good as having a whole crowd. Plus, it's still early days. Don't forget that everyone else probably came up through the school together, so they have had years to bond. Your friends at other colleges were in the situation where everyone's new at once, so they all bonded more because of it.
And you know what? When you reach my age, you realise that it's the 'geeks', the chess players and the quiet ones who are really the most interesting people of all. I should know - I married one of them ;o)
Inside I know that.
I just read your blog on the cliff. How you want to be able to go out and express yourself, not being stuck in. I use to be a compleatly free soal. Now I feel compressed in a way. I can't go out with friends at night or do teenage activities. My friends are all to far away from me and I dont have any friends round here.
But that'll improve once you pass your driving test, won't it? I think this is a phase that will pass. Try and give it time. Before you know it, you'll be zooming over to see your friends back in town and you'll wonder why you ever worried.
And don't forget that true friendships do take time to build from scratch, so give those time to grow too.
Try and be nice to yourself Em. You are a wonderful person and it sounds like you always have been. Nothing's changed. You're as cool as you ever were, so don't forget that. Just because you're feeling temporarily a bit low now, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or that you need to change. You don't - you're brilliant as you are. The kids at Runway think you're fab already. I think in time you'll make some good friends there, as well as at college.
yeh, I was talking to Gill last night about it. She explained to me how my view no friendship is compleatly differnt to others. I don't have artificail friends. For me friendship does not just happen it is built upon like a relationship. That is why I think I feel i don't have friends at college yet, because I don't feel I know them well enough and they don't know me.
I'm exactly the same. I say to Andy, "I've got no friends!" but he lists loads of people we know. But like you, I like to get to know my friends really well and have them really get to know me. It's got to be more than just knowing people.
That's partly why I write my blog - so if anyone wants to get to know me, it's a very easy way for them to see what makes me tick.
Probably your friends at college with friends coming out of their ears have lots of 'people they know' rather than true friends. That deeper friendship only comes in time. So be patient - it'll happen. you're a lovely person - who wouldn't want to be friends with you? :o)
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